A Fork In the Road 

It’s not the first time I’ve made a complete re-think of what I’m doing dog-wise (actually this will be the third).  The first one was when I decided to ‘go it on my own’ several years ago; the second was when I felt a need to change my breeding direction with some well-thought-out imports; and now, the third, brings a change in my thoughts about the “dog game”.  It was all brought about by having a lot of time to think, having some people renege on dog agreements, watching ‘amusing’ things happen in the showring, hearing people trash other dogs simply because they weren’t theirs, listening to people lie about their dogs, getting fed up with self-serving activities in dog clubs, knowing that some people touch up advertising photos, and one positive -getting very involved in a new dog activity, (wheeeew, are you sensing the direction I’m going?) and when all that came together, I was left with this total WTF view of dogdom.

It’s seldom that I have a lot of reflective time.  I tend to have a ton of balls in the air and be rushing around trying to cope with them.  The reason for the zen-time was, unfortunately, one of the saddest experiences in my dog-life.  My beautiful boy, Swagger, got sick in late spring ’06 with a deep-seated infection that took over his skin, mouth, as well as affected him internally.  As we pulled out every solution possible, the bacteria seemed to mutate and became harder and harder to fight.  The seriousness of this (and the required monitoring of the situation) meant that he spent months and months at the vet clinic, with only a few days at home over the course of eight months.  The outcome was not what we’d hoped and worked for…. we lost him January 3, 2007.  It’s taken me this long to say this publicly although my close friends in dogs have known and supported me since it happened.

It was truly devastating.  He was my ideal Gordon.  Everything that I pictured in my mind that a Gordon should be was encompassed in this dog.  He didn’t like to show much so very few people saw that but I was grateful to the people that had the ability to look at him outside the ring and realize the treasure he was.  As much as losing him hurt, I’ll never be sorry to have had him in my life.

I’m sure the first thing people wonder is why we went for so long with trying to save him.  Well, there were so many times, we thought we had it licked and he’d be almost better and then be back in danger again.  Giving up to me is much easier when the whole thing seems futile.  It didn’t seem that way until shortly before he died.

But let me bring this back to the topic at hand and why I had all this time to think.  During the almost eight months that Swagger was in the clinic, I went to visit him every day (either stopping by after work or driving into the city on weekends and holidays).  If the weather was bad, I’d sit with him in his kennel.  When it was good, we’d lie on a blanket on the lawn of the clinic or, on his good days, go for really long walks in the lovely park across the street.  That’s a lot of time to do nothing other than cuddle your dog and think.  And my thoughts led to a realization that a lot of the dog world wasn’t giving me anything positive.  So how to improve things…?  The “Bitchen Bitchez” will explore some of my thoughts on this over the next while (as well as the thoughts of some of my friends) but, in the meantime, here’s a few things I’m committed to:

-       Surrounding myself with people that I trust and respect.  That includes dog contracts.  Nothing new about that thinking as it’s a way anyone’s life can be improved no matter what the focus (only making people, activities and things you cherish part of your life).  It’s just that in dogs, we sometimes make alliances that are for other purposes with the result that we set ourselves up for disappointment or worse.  Not worth it.

-       Putting my energies into things I value.  I tend to be a heavy-duty volunteer.  If I’m going to join something, I want to contribute.  Dog clubs have a very valid reason for being – most of the activities we take part in are due to the work of volunteers.  However, there’s a side to dog clubs that’s not so pleasant (self-serving members, lack of support for those who do volunteer, a focus that doesn’t seem to be on the dogs, etc.).  This summer, I was asked to join a club and, sticking to my current thinking, deferred (gun-shy, I guess) but I still hustle my butt moving equipment around for them and volunteering at the trials as much as I can.  In situations like that, my effort goes directly to something I think matters and it will be similar situations that I’ll continue to support while freeing my time from areas that I no longer feel warrant it.

-       Putting conformation showing further back on my ‘to-do’ list.  I’ll still put my dogs in shows, just not as intensely as I did in the past.  I’ve watched too many placements that made me laugh (even when the entire entry were all my dogs) to think that the majority of the decisions matter much.  Once you’ve been breeding for decades, you do know when dogs are good and when they aren’t so a judge’s opinion isn’t going to (and shouldn’t) change that.  Do it for the fun.  Do it for the titles.  But don’t do it because you really think it means a lot in the grand scheme of breeding.

-       Doing things the dogs enjoy.  I laugh when people say their dog ‘loves to show’.  Well, sure.  But realistically, would any dog really choose the show ring over playing fetch, chasing birds, or running an agility course?  Maybe they just enjoy having someone pay attention to them.  It’s just hard for me to believe that anyone would show a dog simply because the dog ‘loves to show’ unless there are no other activities you do with the dog.  Like I say, I’ll show my dogs but it is not going to be the primary focus of their lives and I think they’ll be happier as a result.

-       Making the process, not the outcome, important.  This also relates to the focus being on the dogs.  In the past, too often, I had been worried about getting points for championships, or qualifiers for agility titles, or some other indicator of achievement.  Why?  The dogs don’t care.  The training should be fun, not stressful, just time with you and your dogs.  If you’re worried about the outcome, that changes the dynamics.  Enjoy the present moment.  It’s the important one.

That’s just a sampling of some of my thoughts (yes, there were many others – none of them likely earth-shattering – but ones I’ll expound upon in the future).  However, I do hope that this fork in the road is to a path that’s more fun and enjoyable for me and the dogs.  They deserve it; I need it.